This feature is a recurring look at the blu-ray releases coming out from Scream Factory and Shout Select. I try to buy as many as I can so why not also try and review as many as I can?
Teen Wolf Too: Collector’s Edition – Released on August 8, 2017
I ordered both Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too (it should be known to this day I have not missed a single Scream Factory Collector's Edition) assuming they would arrive together and my wife and I could have a ridiculous night full of 80's cheese and bad werewolf effects. This did not happen. In fact, as of the time I'm writing this there is still no sign of the first Teen Wolf arriving. So we did an odd thing and went ahead and watched the second one first. At the very least I saw the original years and years ago so the memory is faint but existent. I had never seen the sequel but I had spent the last two decades hearing it was terrible.
Terrible may be too strong a word. I would go with "Kinda pretty really bad."
A plot summary is almost unnecessary. Even though it's been at least 10 years since I saw Teen Wolf, I can still confidently tell you that Teen Wolf Too (I will at least give that title some credit) is the same plot but with Michael J. Fox switched out for Jason Bateman, and basketball switched out for boxing. Todd Howard (Bateman) is the cousin of Scott, Fox's character from the first movie. He is starting out at Hamilton University on a full athletic scholarship even though he doesn't play sports. The Coach from the first movie believes that Todd is also a teen wolf and therefore will also be super good at sports as I guess that is a known quantity amongst teen wolves. Todd is actually far more interested in being a veterinarian and also believes that the teen wolf gene skipped him. It didn't. He becomes a teen wolf and as a result becomes incredibly good at boxing. He is also adored by the student body because in this universe people are way into teen wolves and I'm pretty sure he sleeps with women in teen wolf form which is super gross. Eventually he realizes that he is becoming a huge dick and learns some lessons, etc etc. As I said, you could take the script from the first movie, do a find and replace for a few key phrases and you would have Teen Wolf Too.
Oh lord, where to start with this one? Ok, first question - why is the teen wolf popular? I don't get it. He doesn't do anything particularly cool or interesting. Are people just that psyched about having a werewolf around? It's not like The Nutty Professor where he switches into being a suave, smooth talking motherfucker. He grows some hair and is good at a sport but his personality doesn't seem to change. The only surprise is that people don't turn against him sooner.
His big showpiece as a teen wolf is an elaborate song and dance number set to "Do You Love Me?" and it all solidifies my "God this dude is lame" position even further. I'm not sure what the 80's fascination was with having their main characters sing old songs. I have to imagine this instance is someone seeing Ferris Bueller's "Danke Schoen / Twist & Shout" scene and deciding they definitely needed something like that here. The Ferris Bueller scene is of course completely ridiculous. An elaborate parade happening in the middle of the day when nobody could even see it allows a strange to hijack a float and turn the entire city block into a perfectly choreographed dance sequence. It makes no sense but it's far more enjoyable as I like those characters and it comes off more charming than obnoxious. Also people aren't happy because Ferris is making himself the centre of attention during the song. They are happy because those are good songs. Teen Wolf just jumps around, waving his arms, doing a shitty dance and demanding attention. Fuck that guy. Also his make-up is terrible.
Teen Wolf Too suffers from what I view as a common problem; the movie that is billed as a comedy but doesn't seem interested in telling any jokes. There are definitely moments intended to be funny that absolutely aren't. In fact there are many of those moments. But there are also stretches that don't seem to include any jokes.
Bateman gets in a couple of good lines/line deliveries that show he is destined for bigger and better things. The surrounding cast doesn't fare too well. Kim Darby has a few unintentionally funny lines as Todd's Professor ("Frog fighting in my classroom?!") and John Astin goes ridiculously over the top as the university dean, a.k.a the primary villain of the movie. I forgot how much the 80's fucking haaaaated university and college deans. In a movie where a man turns into a wolf who can box really well and catches frisbees in his mouth, Dean Dunn is still the most cartoonish aspect of the whole thing. Stiles, a character returning from the first movie but being played by a different actor, does not work as the comedic best friend. He's mostly just a prick, with the character being introduced with the revelation that he changed all of Todd's classes to easy shit that would let them hang around with girls. Though this is an 80's college comedy so I guess it should be expected that the heroes are the people who don't give a shit about college.
Then there's the boxing. First of all, I'm not sure it's entirely fair that a teen wolf should be allowed to compete alongside non-teen wolves. Second, once he becomes a teen wolf the matches we are shown are boring. He knocks everyone out with one punch. That shit would get tired real fast and there's no way these fights would continue to generate such large crowds. There's no excitement to any of the matches. It's certainly no Rocky. Although...there are a shocking number of similarities between Teen Wolf Too and Rocky IV.
If you've seen Rocky IV you know that movie is more montage than actual movie. There is actual science behind it - https://stevemccutchen.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/montage-overload-the-insanity-of-rocky-iv/. It's a 91 minute movie containing just over 29 minutes of montage. That's nearly 1/3 montage! Teen Wolf Too can't quite make that claim but it certainly gives it a go. The entire mid-section is montage, with three playing one after another, each one lasting nearly the entire length of the accompanying song. Unfortunately, it's not like in Rocky IV where you get Sylvester Stallone sporting an amazing beard and chopping wood in the snowy mountains. Instead you get a guy in shitty wolf make-up driving a nice car sort of recklessly. At least in Rocky, the fancy car driving montage is because Rocky needs to reflect on how a giant Russian man just killed his best friend. Teen Wolf is just being a dick. I was pretty happy to hear Send Me An Angel in a late movie studying montage as I knew that one from another montage in The Wizard.
Other Rocky IV similarity - the final boxing match goes on for far too long and our vastly outmatched hero eventually wins over his enemies based purely on the amount of heart he shows during the match.
Biggest difference between this and Rocky IV - Rocky IV is amazing and Teen Wolf Too is kinda pretty really bad.
It's not hard to see why Teen Wolf Too earned it's rancid reputation. Even as a fan of 80's cheese, there is almost nothing I can get behind here. I didn't loathe the movie, it's just bad. Top to bottom bad. If you're like me and buying all these Collector's Edition then you have no choice but the rest of you can feel confident you are making the right choice in not watching Teen Wolf Too.
Scream Factory has done a respectable job with the bonus features here. I can't imagine too many people were itching to come and talk about this movie but they got the director and several members of the cast, including new Stiles, Stuart Fratkin, and Kim Darby. It's not the most extensive group of features, with the interviews adding up to about an hour in length, but it's far more than the movie deserves so good on you Scream Factory.
How about that updated cover artwork though? Well, it undeniably has a teen wolf on it and I like the consistency with the cover art for the first movie. It's nothing special but it will do.