Ugh, this perhaps wasn’t the best way to kick off my second go of the horror movie a day thing. If you remember (and if you don’t here’s a link so you no longer have an excuse -http://www.totalactionadventure.com/content/octobers-daily-horror-dose-3...), I reviewed the first Human Centipede last October and was a little surprised to find out that I didn’t completely hate it. I certainly wasn’t a fan and have absolutely no desire to see the movie again, but it wasn’t the complete waste of time I was expecting. The sequel on the other hand…
Our protagonist in the sequel is Martin, a short, beady eyed sweaty dude who works as a security guard in a parking garage. He’s obsessed with the first Human Centipede movie (which exists in the fiction of this world), watching it on a constant loop and drawing out his own plans to make a 12-person centipede. Also his dad molested him when he was growing up, his doctor wants to molest him, and his mom wants to kill him in his sleep and then kill herself because she is resentful that Martin sent hs father to prison for molesting him. So shit isn’t terrific for Martin.
One of the few interesting things about the movie is that Martin never speaks a word. He giggles, cries, moans and makes various noises, but never has any actual dialogue. It’s an interesting decision and one that is pulled off reasonably well. I may as well get this out of the way now and say that the other interesting thing is that the whole movie is presented in black and white, a rarity these days. In many ways it’s like that movie The Artist, only with more shit eating, baby killing and creepy man penis.
The human centipede itself doesn’t factor into things until about an hour into the movie. During the first section, we watch Martin gather up all of his centipede participants. Mostly this means watching him whack a whole bunch of people over the head with a crowbar and then take them to an abandoned warehouse. There’s no suspense because you know he’s going to be successful at capturing them. The one genuinely creepy moment is when one of the people trapped in the warehouse becomes fully aware of what Martin has planned for them and starts yelling “He’s gonna sew us!” Sure it’s a complete rehash of the creepiest moment of the first movie, when the bound characters are shown a slideshow of exactly what’s in store for them, but the character’s realization of the inevitable still proves to be highly unsettling.
Well we’ve highlighted the few things that do work so let’s move on to the things that don’t. The short answer here is every single other thing about the movie. The Human Centipede II is clearly all about being the most disgusting movie ever made (FYI, it’s not even close). It wants to shock and offend but it doesn’t seem to have any other aspirations. Yes you could probably dig out some hidden meaning about how maybe the whole thing is meant to poke fun at people who get upset at fiction and how it’s only a movie, but you would have to really dig deep.
Obviously as a fan of horror, I’m plenty ok with a good gory movie, but there needs to be more going on than just “look at this! Look how violent!” Movies like Evil Dead or Dead Alive are gory as all hell but also a ton of fun. Even the Saw movies aspired to be more than just a bunch of violence, attempting to tell a cohesive story over the course of an extended franchise, something almost no other horror franchises have attempted. But Human Centipede II seems to want nothing more than to top itself with each subsequent scene and make things as unpleasant as possible for the viewers. Some people have said that the movie actually works as a dark comedy, but I did not pick up on that at all. The first movie was far more successful at that then I expected, but the sequel is just harsh and unpleasant.
I guess I should address the actual gore. Admittedly, there’s some intense stuff happening in this movie, especially in the final half hour. It’s very gruesome and occasionally yes, pretty shocking. I’m also quite confident this version was even slightly censored as I was watching it on Netflix, so it’s hard to imagine what they deemed too raw to show here. The problem is that the movie is so intent on outdoing itself over and over, that eventually I became numb to everything it was showing me. When every single scene is going ridiculously over the top in its effort to shock the viewer, it starts to become boring quickly. Out of all the things I expected to feel watching this movie, bored was certainly not one of them but that sums up the experience pretty well.
The Human Centipede 2 may as well be called “Tom Six Presents LOOK AT ME!” as this feels like nothing more than the director wanting to get out there and talk about how disgusting his movie is and how sick in the head he is. The thing is, making a purely disgusting movie is not hard. You sit just about anyone down and tell them to write the most fucked up things they can imagine, I’m sure they will top what you see here. It’s coming up with something to say beyond just whipping a bunch of nasty shit at the audience, and Human Centipede 2 seems to have nothing else going for it aside from that. Oh and of course a third movie is already in the works and Six is already out there talking about how it’s going to make this movie “look like a Disney film.” Whatever Six, you keep jumping around and waving your arms around to get attention, I’m going to move along and watch movies that are, what’s the word, oh yeah – good.