Leprechaun Origins

I…what….I…who the fuck is this movie for? Seriously, I don’t get it. Why did they make this? Every now and then a movie comes along whose existence is just confusing and this is one of the better examples in recent times. There were so many opportunities along the way to not do this and yet they made it across the finish line andLeprechaun Origins is an existing product. And I watched it. I…everything about this is so puzzling.

Let me say straight out that this has absolutely nothing to do with the six movie Leprechaun series with Warwick Davis. I thought Origins might mean it was a prequel but no this is a reboot. A reboot….of fucking….Leprechaun. You could poll a billion people and maybe find 2 who would say they wanted a Leprechaun reboot, and at least 1 of them probably misunderstood the question. The series must have some fans but I have to believe that’s almost entirely because of Davis as the titular character and the generally goofy tone. Both of those elements have been completely removed from Leprechaun Origins. You know, in case you were worried there was something to enjoy here.

Instead of Davis, the Leprechaun here is played by WWE wrestler (I know zip about wrestling so I have no clue if he is still active in that world) Hornswaggle. Even not being that familiar with the man, I liked the idea of a pro wrestler in a Leprechaun outfit, making dumb jokes and talking in what would likely be a terrible Irish accent. Yeeeaaah there’s none of that. The Leprechaun here isn’t even really a Leprechaun, at least not in the traditional sense. Instead, this thing looks like one of the creatures from the Descent, only stupider and cheaper. You also never ever get a solid look at the creature which is maybe done to add suspense but instead gives the impression that the filmmakers were too ashamed to provide a good look at what they put together.

There is absolutely no reason to tout Hornswaggle being in this movie. He never speaks and you never see his face. Literally anybody could play the role and it wouldn’t make a single difference. It would be like if I made a movie and plugged the hell out of the fact that it starred Hulk Hogan, and then in the final product he spends the whole time in a head to toe costume and even then I still only shot his back in very rapid, incoherent editing. Wouldn’t that be shitty of me to say he was the star of the movie? Wouldn’t that be grossly misleading to his fans that would want to see him a movie? That’s exactly what is happening here.

Oh and in case you were concerned that the leprechaun wasn’t lame enough, he has Predator vision. Since everyone is so seemingly determined not to show the creature chasing anyone or doing anything, almost all of his movement is shown from his POV which is done in this style for reasons I couldn’t possibly begin to speculate on. I can’t imagine it was done to heighten the tension because it just cheapens everything even further. Oh and also, sometimes he doesn’t have Predator vision. Yep. Sometimes he just sees things normally. There’s no explanation given as to why that would be so let’s assume they forgot to add the Predator filter to a few scenes. It’s another entry for the long list of reasons this movie is garbage.

So that’s a lot of talk about the creature itself, let’s move to the story. This won’t take long. Two boring couples are backpacking through Europe and then they are hunted by what this movie insists is a Leprechaun. This is because some villagers stole his gold a long time ago and they have to offer him sacrifices so he doesn’t come over and murder all of them. Mostly they spend their time in a cabin in the woods (cuz creativity) or running through non-descript forest settings that are supposed to be in Ireland but are so very clearly Canada. There is no reason to care about anyone here. No attempts were made to develop them as characters so they are just Leprechaun fodder. You don’t even hate them enough to want to see them killed, they just sort of exist.

But it’s a rated R horror movie with a monster killing people so there must be some solid gore right? Nooooope. There are a couple decent bloody shots but certainly nothing to make up for everything else. It’s not like the recently viewed Joy Ride 3 where the gore at least helps make things a little more fun.

Speaking of fun, why the fuck is a movie with Leprechaun in the title being played so god damn straight? It’s a movie series known for being completely ridiculous and yet the proceedings here are completely grim. I’m not saying Leprechaun CAN’T be serious, but who would even want to try it? And who would want to watch that? Seriously who is this movie for? I don’t get it! At some point someone set out to make this and told people “Hey guys I’m going to make a new Leprechaun movie only I’m going to play the concept completely straight” and nobody at any point stepped in and prevented this from happening! Why would they allow this?!

You know what, that’s enough. Leprechaun Origins is terrible. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities and if I graded movies would receive a one or lower. It is the worst of the horror reboots and amongst some of the worst horror I have sat through. It’s inept on every level and contains nothing but bafflingly flawed ideas. Don’t. Don’t do it. You don’t want to do this to yourself. You’re better than this. We all are.